Fortune's Fool from Phaze

Fortune's Fool is an erotic romance anthology featuring Selah March (her book, Dirty Shame, was given a 85 by Mrs Giggles), Eva Gale, Bianca D'Arc, and Cassidy Kent. The theme of the anthology is psychics. Its from Phaze!

Fake Book Blurb

Miami Sizzle

Mildred Sugarbaker was a just your average virgin widow trying to keep her dead sister's orphanage for the redhead children of Indonesian skunk miners open when disaster struck. Under the hot Miami sun with only the seagulls as witnesses, one of the children were kidnapped. And now a steep ransom is being demanded -- HER VIRGINITY.

Glenn Finkleberg is a ex-SEAL, ex-PI, ex-CIA and current vampire with a shameful past. Seeing the news of the kidnapping, he knows that solving this case may be his last hope for redemption. But, can he let down his barriers and TRUST AGAIN?

As sizzling as eggs on a Miami barrio sidewalk, Glenn and Mildred's lust threatens to bubble over. The question isn't what the hell is going on -- The question is can love survive when a evil kidnapper, a plot to kill the President with a weather vane, and amnesia is thrown in its path?


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What can I say? Glenn Finkleberg just wouldn't let me go before I shared a blurb of his true love with Mildred. :D

Steven Saylor Writes Great Mysteries

Do you love Mysteries? I like mysteries, but I love historical mysteries. Have any of you heard of Steven Saylor? He has a mystery series that features a detective-like man named Gordianus the Finder who helps solve crimes and mysteries for the Roman elite in the time of Julius Caesar. I've only read one book of his -- The Judgement of Caesar -- and I can't wait to read another. The speech and the attitude of the character doesn't seem anachronistic which is such a plus. Nothing jumped out at me as wrong in the historical facts department. And for romance lovers, the feelings that Gordianus has for his wife in The Judgement of Caesar is tear jerking. Check out Steven Saylor, you won't be disappointed.

I've read my first JD Ward book. It is Lover Eternal in the Brotherhood of the Black Dagger series. I liked it. It was fun, good read. The names of the guys in the Brotherhood made me laugh like I was on LOLlerskates though. Rhage? Tohrment? Zsadist? I really want to see the romance when the hero is a "utter masculine" guy named Glenn Finkleberg. Seriously though, JD Ward is just like Steven Saylor in the list of authors to read again. Her book didn't rock the boat in paranormal romance or get on my keeper shelf, but it might be on the shelf next to the keepers.

This Shit Is Bananas

The fake Tyra Mail from McSweeney's is hilarious. Here is my favorite:

One of you bitches done stole my Fruit Roll-Ups. Heads will roll tomorrow at 6:00 a.m. sharp. —Y'all know my name


TROUBLING TYRA MAILS CENSORED FROM AIRED EPISODES OF AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL.

Top Model Finale

I'm not disappointed because the girl who won (I'm trying not to spoil anyone) is talented and did walk well in the show, but I did want the other girl to win because I feel that she has more potential to be successful. And, she is just cute as a button!

Anyway, as long as a certain woman didn't win, I am happy. If she won I would have been pissed.

Any other Top Model fans?

MOOSE FARM!!!

I found a link to a Russian moose farm! It has picture goodness.

THE KOSTROMA MOOSE FARM

New! Hot! Muuuuusic!

Aubrey Debauchery is a singer-songwriter who writes some beautiful and at times playfully wicked songs. One song of hers that I really like a lot is the "Love Letter to No One." That might be a song to give some writers some inspiration.

I've seen her in concert, and she has a great presence, she can really work a crowd. Even if that crowd is behind a noisy pizzeria. My friends and I drove two hours to Gilbert to see her. And, that has to tell you that she is good because Gilbert is a confusing, crap hole of a suburb.

Try this girl out, you won't be disappointed.

Neptune Rising by HA Fowler [HET review]

Neptune Rising by H.A. Fowler was like a constant homage to other books or even
television shows. I say homage to be polite. Let me explain: the hero, Hart Campbell,
is describe as having cheekbones like David Boreanaz's and sounding like a Scotsman
because he sounded like Jamie from a Diana Gabaldon's book. He is a incubus and, like a Christina Feehan or Kresley Cole book, has a soulmate with a cutesy name -- an
Intimate. Its not a good sign when a reader is like, "wow, that seems like something in so-n-so's book so why am I not reading them?" It took me two tries to finish this
story. Neptune Rising (the title seems to have nothing to do with the book) earns a D.

I'm a poor college student, and I could be spending what little money I have on beer
and weed, but I decided to spend it on books. I could have gotten five used books for
the price of this 10k-20k story. And, as a poor college student who is neither drunk
nor high and has just finished a really really disappointing book, I will not be
pulling any punches.

Kimber Andrews, a 'quirky' girl, is looking for love and with the help of her witchy
friend, tries to summon the perfect man. Too bad she summons the perfect rapist in the form of a incubus. Hart Campbell looks like David Boreanaz and happens to be a very bland, Scottish Guardian. He's also a reformed incubus. He has to rescue her from being raped. She's enough of a wet blanket that right after almost being raped (which honestly, don't start necking with a dude who appears out of thin air wearing bondage gear) she hops into bed with Hart. Who later has a thought bubble about Kimber's spirit. What?!? Maybe H.A. Fowler should have showed some of this spirit before. Of course, they fall in love after five seconds because Kimber is a desperate woman (Hart falls out of the sky and without any questioning Kimber is fine to be with him FOREVER) and Hart's has that whole mystically Intimate thing going on.

H.A. Fowler takes way too long (with too many cliches) to describe how great looking
Hart is. We get it -- He's fucking pretty. Her skill with description is again used
with such lovely terms as aching channel, womanly juices, velvet steel, and throbbing
womb. Maybe its just because I'm a big lo' lesbo, but those words just threw me right
out of every sex scene. You know what else threw me out of the sex scene -- Kimber's
screaming orgasms of cliche. Wow, I would not want to live next to that broad. Hart
doesn't sound like a heterosexual dude. In fact when he is around his partner, Nasim,
he sounds like he'd rather be with Nasim than Kimber. The dialogue is so cheesy; its I
-want-some-tortilla-chips-to-go-with-this cheesy; my eyes almost popped out of my
sockets because I kept rolling them. There is not plot. There are some info dumps
between Kimber and Hart having boring sex, but no plot.

Good things, because even I am tired of my rant, are the lovely cover, Nasim, and the
editing. The plot really could have been cool which sort of counts as a good thing.

Neptune Rising was every cliche and overly used plot point of recent paranormals rolled into one. Kimber and Hart are uninteresting characters. The whole book seems like author wish fulfillment, as a fanfic reader, I know how to spot that. This is a best seller at Cobblestone so some people must like it; I really did not. See for yourself at href="http://www.cobblestone-press.com/catalog/books/neptunerising.htm">Cobblestone
Press.

All of Us Writing the Gay/Lesbian Romance...

better not go to the Romantic Times convention.

Homophobia shown toward a M/M writer.

Way to go, Romantic Times, way to show how up with the times you are. They don't review M/M and they don't like those authors at their cons. Wow, way to alienate the readers and writers of a rapidly growing genre. Kudos, Hyatt hotel as well.


Kathryn Falk of Romantic Times is making romance writers and publishers everywhere seem like delicate violets.
Wow! Lets hope that none of these sensitive authors try to write and post fanfic... Trust me, fanfic writers give no mercy. I thought it was cute that you have to be 'good of heart' to write romance.

Well, this whole kerfuffle is very timely because I had just finished a very inane book, and I was going to post my review which isn't the nicest that I ever wrote. If any of you guys is going to commit suicide because of it, please comment and I'll post a picture of a panda right after the bad review. :D

Dirty Shame by Selah March [Het Review]

Dirty Shame by Selah March from Amber Quill press is a contemporary romance that breaks the rules. First of all the hero, Dare Daniels, is the star of a hit television show called Vegas Knight. Second of all the 'dirty shame' in his past is actually something that would make a person tortured. Third of all, Dare is a complete womanizer. Selah March doesn't play halfsies with this tale. And, boy, does it pay off. Dirty Shame gets an A from this reviewer and I don't particularly like contemporaries.

The heroine is Joey Fiorello, a struggling actress who applies for a personal assistant gig to pay the bills. Dare is tabloid fodder of Britney Spears proportions; His manager hires Joey in hopes that she can make the oversexed actor tame his libido or at least keep it from the public eye. That becomes difficult when, of course, sparks fly between the pair.

The editing was good which sometimes with Amber Quill books can be iffy. The dialogue is fantastic. I never rolled my eyes once during their verbal sparring, and I usually find romance 'banter' to be mockable at best, Dare sounded like a real guy! Its like Selah March had observed them in their natural habitat. Joey was a tough cookie without being stupid. Feisty and not lobotomized: a mix so rare its like a white tiger in the wild. She did have some quirks that seemed a little unrealistic to sort of crazy. And the fact that Dare was willing to hire even after she explains her behavior is odd, but given his own history, understandable. Joey and Dare were interesting, fleshed-out characters that gave extra spice to their romance and more enjoyment for me as a reader. And, the sex scenes mention condoms. Sorry if that is a spoiler, but it was that realism that grounded the book and made believing that a hunky TV star would fall for a short, buxom assistant that much easier. This is also a suspenseful story, and the mystery part of the story isn't tacked on. As the plot twists and turns, its always surprising, but doesn't come out of left field. I had a few 'Ah ha' moments I pieced together the story. This book is just all around fun!

Selah March has a great voice and her story had its feet on the ground with touches of realism. This book feels like it takes place on Earth instead of Romancelandia. Watching Joey and Dare fall in love is a treat, and the fall is natural, I never felt like the author was writing down to fit romance conventions. This is a 'A' tale, and I can't wait to read more from Selah March.